Break-ups are hard, even more so if children are involved. Maybe you and your husband or wife of 15 years just separated, or you and your long-term partner just broke up, or you just got out of a volatile relationship. Regardless of the situation, if you have children together, you will be tied to this person until your children are 18, but most likely longer.
You are going to have to embark on the next stage of your life and co-parent your children with the other person. Most likely you will have joint legal custody, which means decisions about the children cannot be made without you and the other parent agreeing on said decisions. This includes what school your children will attend, if your child will receive braces, choice of religion, and all the other major decisions that go into raising children.
It is basically impossible to make these decisions if one person cannot set aside their anger and focus on the child and the child’s needs. In an ideal world, parents would make decisions in the best interest of their child, get along perfectly, and celebrate holidays together. In reality, the best many people can do is communicate by email and avoid all face-to-face contact with their ex.
The most important thing to remember is that your child is half of their parent and their success in life is dependent upon their needs being met. Every time you complain about their parent, or call him/her an expletive name, your child hears that. Your child will understand what you are saying and believe every part of them that is similar to their other parent is bad and must be hidden. You do not want your child to think that you hate him/her because you hate your ex-partner.
Fighting with your ex will take a toll on the child, causing the child stress and anxiety at a young age. This can have a negative effect on their performance in school or cause them to lose sleep at night. So, put aside your anger and hatred and focus on loving and raising your child. Get along with your ex, if not for anything else, for your kids’ sake.